so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
