You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
