It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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