I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
its not stalking. its research.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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