wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
