Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
