so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
