Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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