The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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