Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
