I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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