btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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