HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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