wrigley field is MILF paradise
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
