Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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