Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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  (310): she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator http://tfl.nu/t2x8
  Replies (16) Good night (524) Bad night (3108) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?

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  (870): Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits? http://tfl.nu/zxqx
  Replies (39) Good night (2241) Bad night (3029) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego

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  (651): my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego http://tfl.nu/c4f3
  Replies (8) Good night (4652) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

  (214): View more from Texas

  What? They have three kids?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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  (512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk
  Replies (20) Good night (749) Bad night (5935)
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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6677) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.

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  (662): I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/47a7
  Replies (10) Good night (2966) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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  (864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor." http://tfl.nu/jk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (3103) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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  (716): Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada http://tfl.nu/glbq
  Replies (9) Good night (2293) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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  (314): He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real. http://tfl.nu/dekt
  Replies (3) Good night (1458) Bad night (601)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.

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  (641): I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women. (515): That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage. http://tfl.nu/mozw
  Replies (5) Good night (2224) Bad night (832)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.

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  (502): Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway. http://tfl.nu/fbtk
  Replies (13) Good night (3332) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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  (920): We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like http://tfl.nu/fep0
  Replies (19) Good night (3205) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?

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  (801): Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way? http://tfl.nu/h6qu
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1341) Bad night (270)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.

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  (720): Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag. (303): This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two. http://tfl.nu/02n3
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (132)

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