also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The pigeons can smell the fear
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her