I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Drake has all the answers
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
