The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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