There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i dont even know how to be here
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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