I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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