Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
