So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
