where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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