i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
