4 words: hood of his car
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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