i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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