I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
