This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
