Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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