If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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