Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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