better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
