his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
