I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
