Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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