I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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