Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
