gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
