it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize