16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
