well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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