Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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