Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
