you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
