I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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