is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
