OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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