How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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