well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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