And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
