I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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