Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
