Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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