Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
