well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize