My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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