Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
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giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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