Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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