I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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