small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
