I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
