I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
