He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
